Oooh George!

----- Original Message ----
From: Danielle Parker
To: Stephanie Hunter
Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2007 8:40 AM
Subject: FW: Warning to all Women....

This Could Happen To You..... It Could Happen To Your Mother, Your Sister,Your Daughter or your best friend. So please warn all the women you care about.The strangest thing happened to me at lunch today.
I was sitting at a localoutdoor cafe having lunch by myself and two men came and sat down at mytable. I gave them the death look, but they just casually stayed at my table andwouldn't leave me alone. I shined up my wedding ring then placed my hand onthe table and I hinted to them that I was married and that I was just notinterested in them. Luckily for me they got the hint and left, butthankfully the whole thing was captured on the Cafe's camera. I'm sending you this picture as a warningjust in case they try and pick you up too.
Honestly, some men think they're God's gift .

From: Stephanie Hunter
To: Danielle Parker
Oi! That's my two ex-boyfriends you're talking about there!

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From: Danielle Parker
To: Stephanie Hunter
Hope they weren’t two timing me at the time with you!!!
*******************************
From: Stephanie Hunter

To: Danielle Parker
No, no sweetie...I kicked them to the curb well before you came along.

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From: Danielle Parker
To: Stephanie Hunter
Phew because obviously I’ve remained firm friends with them both…but had that been the case I might have had a few words to say.
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From: Stephanie Hunter
To: Danielle Parker
Oh of course. Don't worry, I speak to them both everyday and they admit to being somewhat fond of you still. They say it's just a shame you were so smelly.

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From: Danielle Parker

To: Stephanie Hunter
Yes but do they tell you ‘smelly’ in a good way… a bit like a rose bush I believe they once told me.
*******************************
From: Stephanie Hunter

To: Danielle Parker

A bit like old socks I believe they said....or was it old man's farts...whichever. The other day we were all out on the yacht and they were arguing about it...can't remember which one they settled on. Then of course Ang came and took Brad down below to see the children and George and I had a skinny-dip for old time's sake. Good times.

*********************************

From: Danielle Parker

To: Stephanie Hunter

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Bruce's 43 Birthday Weekend

This past weekend Bruce's sister, Lisa, and I threw a big bash for Bruce's
birthday...at his house, so no surprise for him. The surprise for us turned
out to be that Bruce had spent the previous few days inviting everyone he saw, so the numbers climbed quickly. Luckily Lisa and I reserved our panic in case we actually did run out of food on the night (instead of spending the week in a blind panic which was the first reaction), because, as is typical, plenty of people didn't make it and there was tons of food. I'm still eating it in fact!

Anyway, Lisa had a friend make a cake with the RISR logo on it,
including the motto: Once is not enough. Oh yeah????







The heat, the noise, the cooking...oh and I burnt my legs and feet when
the fish sauce poured out of the pan....well it was all just too much for me.

And Bruce brought out this funky little number to perform some
initiations into the "Fun-de-mental-ist Church of the Wasted (K)Nights
of Minton"....we made $14 which is our biggest offertory so far!

And of course everyone had a blast so my headache and blistered
legs were worth it.

The next day Tim took our hangovers for a lovely relaxing

afternoon out on the Iridio. We sat off in Paradise lakes for a while....
swimming and drinking...and then it was decided to troll around the
Sound before heading home.



We caught a lot of Bermuda rock fish....and on one occasion we could

not free the lure. Bruce had to dive in and unhook it which took a fair amount of effort with all that red wine in him. Plus, there's no fixed
ladder on Iridio so Tim had to man handle Bruce back into the boat.





I was relaxed anyway....finally!

After all the excitement it was a lovely cocktail cruise
back home

and I had earned my t-shirt again.
Cool.

And completely apros pro of nothing.....frangipani.

Seagulls and blue water

This past Saturday was the annual Round the Island Seagull Race and it was quite a day.

I spent the day crash-boating on the infamous 'Nazcar' whose previous owner, Chris, had recently proclaimed it worthy of needing its own crash boat. I wasn't impressed. But since my captain was to be Graham P, one of Bermuda's best marine mechanics, and I was assured that we would stay only on the North Shore and not have to battle the South Shore, I agreed to go along. Much to my dismay North Shore was so sloppy and choppy that it was impossible to sit in without feeling sick....unless you got drunk instead. So guess what I did? It did not involve heaving over the side I can assure you!

We had headed out onto the water early thinking that we would anchor off at Gibbets Island and have some lunch but that plan was abandoned in the face of huge South Shore-like swells that rhythmically and constantly tipped the boat from gunnel to gunnel. Heading back west we found it relatively calm in Deep Bay, threw the hook over and prepared to worship the sun gods while we waited for the first dulcet "p-ting, ting, ting" to come our way.

I had needed a pee for a while so I stepped over the stern onto the ladder platform thinking to have a wee swim and empty the tank. Until the first wave and spray shot up my leg. I'm a complete wuss at the best of times and usually don't venture into the sea until it is more like bathwater, mid-July-ish. This was more like arctic. They say the sea temperature is just a few degrees below normal for the year...me and my sorry, wet, frozen ass beg to differ. Much to Graham's amusement I jumped back over the stern shivering and wrapped myself up until I thawed out a bit.

Finally we heard the first boat. I ran up to the bow to pull up the anchor and heard words no-one ever wants to hear, "Wait a sec Steph, the boat won't start." I stood there holding the rope and barely holding my temper/panic while Graham pumped gas to the engine and much to my relief the engine finally kicked into life. We headed out into the gnarly water to try and spot the source of the p-tings and discovered that it was moving at a very fast pace and was already way beyond us. Almost immediately we spotted another boat on the horizon and buzzed off to see who it was.

I KNOW!!! It looks so lovely and calm, doesn't it?
Well it wasn't. According to the racers, South Shore was beautiful, smooth sailing all the way. North Shore was the bitch this year.

As evidence that the sea was not as calm as it appears, here is the aptly named 'SeaSwallow' bailing maniacally to keep afloat.

The first boat we saw turned out to be the infamous Captain Cruel, aka Bruce, with Pirate Pete, one of the New Zealanders who made it up from down'unda this year. They did the race in a
traditional Bermuda dingy, the first time in a long time for the Captain...and according to him
"never again". I guess it was a little slow...not quite the warp speed he's used to in a flea hull. Anyway, this beautiful boat is named 'Legless' and this turned out to be incredibly appropriate as no sooner did the Pirate reach land, he found a cool, grassy spot on the neighbouring beach and passed out! Apparently Pirates shouldn't drink Pimms whilst circumnavigating a small country! He's changed his name to Pete the Wimp in the aftermath.

Unbeknownst to us two Canadian expatriates had decided to launch a challenge against the Brits and the first we knew of it was when they zoomed past with their flag flying high...and causing some drag I'd imagine, though it didn't seem to hurt them any....they won. Not that I'd be biased in any way of course *cough cough* but the Brits did seem to know how to garner support, flashing everyone as they passed and managing not to 't-bone' us while also managing to pass us a lovely bottle of red wine from a case they had on board. Rumour has it that the race was very nearly nose-to-nose at the finish line and the British Captain ordered his crew overboard in an effort to lighten the vessel and nip the competition. Other reports state that they were both drunk and when they dropped their flag they both jumped over to retrieve it! Frankly, I could believe either but I think the amount of alcohol being imbibed on land had the spectators confused. I happen to know for a fact that the Pirate was ordered overboard by Captain Cruel as he has been a bit upset by the loss of his "sunnies" ever since! Mind you, it wouldn't be the first time more than one flag got lost, or more than one person ended up overboard.

And thankfully it won't be the last. That's entertainment!

Cindy & Graham's Wedding

Cindy & Graham's Wedding, originally uploaded by hogfishbeacon.

Cindy and Graham got married on the 1st June 2007. It was a beautiful day and everyone looked beautiful. We had beautiful settings for the ceremony, the photos and the reception. We ate beautiful food and drank beautiful wine. The cake melted in the heat but was still beautiful. And as wonderful as that all is, the most important thing was how beautiful the sentiment was.
Beautiful!

More Nuptials!

Two of my best friends got engaged two weeks ago after a seven year "courtship"....and are getting married this coming Friday!
I am thrilled but am also a bit frazzled...and nervous. The whole bridesmaid thing is nerve-wracking.
I know we''ll have fun in the end though and here's praying for blue skies on the day!
More to come...with photos too!
Still no internet at work though...three weeks now I think. I am in serious withdrawal and sneaking on to friends' computers whenever possible!
Someone came by today and hopefully we will be set up soon.
Can't wait!

1,000,000,000 times

That's how many times today I have already wanted to eff off a certain somebody.
And it's only 11:30am. Grrrrrrrr.
On the brighter side, I am wearing my new jeans and I LOVE them!
Also, I had to stop on the way to work to buy a new helmet. There is no way I could wear Dr. O's for a week. I think it was bad enough that I wore it home last night and into town this morning as I had to hold it on at the strap with one hand. When I had to let go to use the brake the helmet would fling back threatening to come off completely....or decapitate me.
Anyway, it was only forcing me to do something I should have done months ago, right after my accident. Whenever you choose/decide/are forced to stop a moving vehicle with your helmet...with your head still inside naturally....it is recommended that you replace the helmet as it might have sustained unseen stress fractures and therefore might not protect your head again should you decide to repeat this method of coming to a halt.
FYI: It is also recommended that you not use this method of coming to a halt.
In related news: The latest repercussion from my accident was discovered on my check-up with the eye doctor, Dr. LTB, a couple of weeks ago. Can you believe that I am still suffering the consequences of an accident that took place at the end of January....this is the beginning of May for f*cks sake!
Anyway...I had seen Dr. LTB right after the accident to make sure that everything was OK. What with the bang I took, the cuts and bruises around my eye, the concussion and the fracture to my cheek bone, and the fact that I am prone to weak spots in my retina, we figured it's better safe than sorry. Everything seemed fine initially, he couldn't tell much because there was too much internal swelling and a large contusion on my main eye muscle, but he wasn't too concerned. It was kinda hard to know how much of my vision trouble was being caused by the bruising etc as opposed to the concussion. Regardless, he booked me for an eye function test a few weeks later, to make sure the swelling was going down and the eye muscle was working properly. Once again everything seemed fine and in fact I apparently have exceptional depth perception! Woo hoo for hidden talents!! The technician said that Dr. LTB would want to see me again to make sure that everything had healed properly inside the eye. I don't know if you have ever had a "proper" eye exam, where they first numb your eye so that you can't feel the peeper thingie (technical terminology) the doctor places on your eye ball, then they dilate your pupils so that he can see right into your eye. I was told once that it is the closest one can get to looking at the brain without opening up the skull, because, right behind your eyeball?.....that there is your brain. It's horrible, the numbing and dilating, and it takes a while. But of course there are plenty of magazines and a TV in the waiting room...oh, but wait!....you can't focus when your eyes are dilated! You'll find me in the parking lot, smoking, when the doctor's ready, thanks.
But I digress. As it turned out I had to postpone my appointment three times due to one thing or another, all work related, and I was beginning to wonder if I really needed to bother, everything seemed fine. My eyes were still over-sensitive but I had had no problems with my vision. In the end I once again thought it was better to be safe than sorry and went along. Now, Dr. LTB is a lovely man, very nice and kind, but he's a man of few words and doesn't chat during the exam except to give you directions. So when he started "Hmmm-ing" and "Oh-ing" amid the "Look up/down/left/right-ing", I got a bit concerned. As it turns out, the retina had been pulled away from the eye wall by the internal swelling and as the swelling went down the retina was left stretched away. Holy crap! I had a detached retina! Because it was detached so far down it had not impacted my vision and I would have continued to be unaware of it until it actually tore. And that would have been a very serious problem indeed! I need to be able to see to light my cigarettes and fill my wine glass....and watch Gray's Anatomy.
Since it was late afternoon and he only had a few more patients to see, he had me wait and was able to patch me up right away.....and I managed not to have a complete panic attack. But it was so late when we finished that all the staff had gone and I missed the usual post-visit attention I get from the nurses. Apparently my pupils open unusually large under dilation and stay that way for ages longer than most people (woo hoo for another hidden talent!) and the nurses like to have a look in (nurses are so weird!). This gives me time to let the eye-watering ease up and for the numbness to wear off so I can look from side to side. And this is very useful because it's hard enough driving home when you can't focus, but when you can't look from side to side it's damn near impossible.
I guess I should get some work done now......

Aaargghhhh!

Gosh I'm in a foul mood now.
On the way to work this morning I put my feet down from the bike at the first stop sign I encountered and as I lifted them back up again the right foot felt a bit strange. Well, not so much the foot as the shoe. I looked down and lifted the foot a bit and sure enough the sole of the shoe was coming off! It got worse each time I had to put my feet down and by the time I was trying to walk up the path at work it was completely off except for the heel. I had to drag my foot along the ground sideways in order not to trip. Of course, I could also have taken the shoe off and walked the last few yards with one bare foot. But that would have been too much like common sense.
I'm really just amazed that I didn't break my neck coming down the stairs at home!
Then, at lunch time I decided to go into town. And that right there is enough to ruin anyone's day! But I really wanted to check this one place out.....one of the big department store's newly opened 'discount' outlet. Thought I'd go on in and see if there was anything worth it in there or if it was just going to be the dregs...the completely un-sellable stuff.
It's a bit of both. There is some stuff that just should never have been for sale in a store ever, anywhere, no matter how discounted. But there's also some nicer stuff...the very last of certain items. I found a few gems and headed for the dressing room, where some of those gems turned out to be plastic baubles. But there were three items I was quite thrilled with, including a pair of jeans which I LOVED and which is particularly unusual for me. Being a dyed in the wool....or denim, (ha ha I'm so funny!)...Levis girl I rarely find jeans, or any other kind of casual trouser, that I like and that fits and are long enough and that I can afford outside of the Levis store. So, this was a real find and I headed out of the dressing room, really happy and thinking about my first chance to wear them....I'd have to do it soon as jeans weather is very nearly over.
I get up to the counter and the sales lady begins ringing up my sale and then starts fiddling with the security device on the jeans.....and couldn't get it off. Then I cried. They are going to try another way of getting the device off and call me. But.....DAMN!!
So, I was late back to work because I spent so much time looking round the stupid store, and it took a long time to drive back to work whilst sobbing.
When I got back I went around to the back door which we all use to come and go, leaving the front door for the patients. And...and...Oh.My.God. There was a huge f*ck off lizard on the corner of the building, just at the narrowest part of the path. Needless to say I quietly had a heart attack and ran back to the front door. Screw the patients.
Now, FYI, work is making me stressed and annoyed these days regardless as I am on the outs with the office manager since a big blow up we had last week. He owes me a bloody apology and for some reason I can't seem to get past that. Well, Dr. O had asked Office Manager to do some sort of favour for him this morning....I have no clue what but somehow it has ended up in OM leaving Dr. O's helmet somewhere. Dr. O went out to ride his bike home to get ready for his flight this afternoon, and lo and behold, no helmet! He has had to borrow mine to get home while OM goes to retrieve Dr. O's so that I have a helmet to wear home. Problem is that Dr. O won't be back until next week, so I have to ride around with a helmet that we don't even know will fit me...for a week! Bugger! Bloody Office Manager!
Add to all that, my nose is bugging me so much that I swear I would chop it off if I could. Hide all the knives.
I am suffering from allergies to a previously unheard of extent. Yesterday, as I sniffed my way through a conversation with Dr. O in a voice so nasal I seriously sounded like some sort of cartoon character, he asked me what I was taking and how long had it been now. I told him that it had been about a week now but I wasn't taking anything. He gave me such an exasperated look that it shamed me into going to the chemist and picking up some nasal spray and some tablets. Well, they're working. I can breathe through my nostrils again. But the itchy, irritated, sneezy, soreness is killing me!
And now it is just about time to go home and I haven't had one email all day. Not one. Not even work related (rare at the best of times anyway).
Nobody loves me today. Not even my Mummy?!
Lucky for me I have a bottle of wine at home with my name on it.
Edited to Add: The shop just called and they got the security thingie off of my jeans! Yay! AND they're open until 5:30 so I have time to get there to pick them up! Yay!
Maybe tomorrow will be better.

It never rains....

....but it pours. And it SUCKS!
After a period of being on my own (with only the odd interlude here and there) there are suddenly three prospects at my door.
C is fun, funny, zany, drop dead body and crazy good looking. Life would be hilarious with C and I wouldn't have to grow *the hell* up, I could stay wacky and carefree and just enjoy all the manly hotness. But? He's a bit dippy. Not actually stupid by any means, but...um...dizzy....like the stereotypical blonde (hellooo! I can say that!). And he's too focused on his training right now, too busy. And....I think he might be playing games. Too bad because he's exactly what I like. Well, without the dizzy. Or the busy. Or..or the games.
OK. I actually don't want him at all.
Next!
M is nice, cute, funny, great company. He's got a good job (so does C just forgot to mention it 'cause of all the hotness and dippiness), he's responsible. He's also keen. He's boyfriend material. He lacks the zaniness that makes C irresistible, but he's definitely not playing games.
Then?
M2. M2 is nice, good looking, nice dresser, very intelligent. He seems to have a pretty good sense of humour. Seems quite straight though. He says he's not a big drinker and anyone who knows me knows that could be a problem! But I'm reserving judgement on that 'cause when I saw him last Friday the boy was fully loaded. He's got a very good job, I mean....make my Dad happy kind of good job (seriously, if I told my Dad only their names and occupations, he'd kick the others to the curb and walk this one straight to the church without even blinking). He's keen, no games here for sure.
I'm seeing them all this week.
First, tonight, C. This may be the last time. Tonight I will make up my mind whether or not I am being played. If I am? See ya! If he's just too busy training for the BIG THING in June, I will put it on hold till after that, and then we'll see. May be too late by then. M or M2 may beat him out.
So. What sucks?
I am sick.
I have got a horrible cold and have virtually lost my voice. I may have to put the Ms off till next week.
Hmmm.....maybe they're mistaking my flemmy growl for a sexy, husky drawl.
Oh...and you know what else sucks? They are all Canadian. And for some reason I have a terrible track record with Canadian men!

Invitation Only...

Invitation Only..., originally uploaded by hogfishbeacon.

When you look back at the photos taken over the weekend you really have to wonder sometimes....wh...wha...whaaa????

On Saturday night I headed into town rather late to see a band...not just any ole band....I knew a few of these guys. A few of my brother's friends, and some others, who started jammin' together a while back. Every now and then they would put on a little show at friends' weddings, parties etc. And then one night performing for a friend's birthday they were asked by the bar owner if they would like to do an official gig there. Well, why not?

And so, "The Go Down Berries" live at Docksiders this past Saturday. The name? Don't ask. But...but... my brother told me that they had nicknamed all the wives and girlfriends (who were out on the dancefloor like all good groupies) the "Go Down Girls". Hee hee!

I was impressed. They had a pretty good sound but I also really liked the playlist. Something for everyone, from The Grateful Dead to Counting Crows to old school reggae Gregory Issacs' Night Nurse and classic Van Morrison. And anyone who has been to more than one concert, of any size or type, knows that a bad playlist can ruin the whole show.

It was really good to see so many people that I don't get the chance to see much any more. My brother and his friends are a pretty tight knit group and they see A LOT of each other but, since the advent of children, most of the socializing goes on in each others' homes. Gone are the days of me running into them carousing around the bars in town. Some of my brothers' friends have been around so long and they seem part of the family....I miss the old sound of "Hey, sistah woman!!" across a crowded bar if they spotted me. There were also some of my old crowd there as well and it's always great to see them too and catch up.

Mainly it was nice for me to get to spend an evening in my brothers' company, especially one where he doesn't have somewhere else he has to be, like, ten minutes ago! He's so friggin busy that it's rare. He's just returned from a whitewater rafting trip in Costa Rica and I hate it when he's away...I guess he's kind of my touchstone and I like knowing that, even if we don't see as much of each other as I'd like to on a regular basis, if I need him I can call and he'll be there. Besides, I think he was the only person who managed to have his 'invitation only' card stuck on his forhead the right side up. The rest of us are just idiots! I'm also sorry that for some reason I can't get this damn photo to load so that it's me and my bro...instead of me an Cracks!

And after all that.....

Ceremony, originally uploaded by hogfishbeacon.

So much bother in the run up to the big day....about 40 heart attacks the morning of....practically killing myself to get up to Southampton and then back to Devonshire....and the thousand minor problems that cropped up and either got solved or ignored depending on importance and ability to solve.....and in the end it was all just lovely, and so worth it.
We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day. Karen looked gorgeous and all the men looked so smart. The venue looked spectacular, the food was delicious, the speaches were short and funny and everyone had a blast.
What a great day!

Lonley

Drifting in the provoking silences of the night
I think magical, haunting thoughts
remember, and dream, and drink.
The silence is beautiful, maddening,
needed and loud.
And the lost sound of others' sleep
is loudest and most intruding.
Mother and Father in their marital bed.
The child in the cot, the brother beside me.
The pictures remain vivid but don't make a sound.
The music might blare, the frogs might sing.
Even wind and nearby sea have a voice
and the traffic on the street.
But the perfect sound of other peoples' sleep eludes me.

Why am I nervous?

I mean apart from the fact that I am a particularly anxiety-riddled person.
I'm not the one getting married in 4 days.
I'm not the one with less than a week to finalize thousands of details, small and large.
But every now and then I get the feeling of butterflies and this morning I woke up in a mild panic about things still to be done.
I guess I just feel uber-responsible for the projects that I did take on to help KT. I want everything to be perfect for their big day and I would die if something I was supposed to have done wasn't, or fell apart on the day, or caused some big furor or controversy. Oh god. I'm getting myself all in a tizz again.
KT's coming over after work to check out the headpiece I have created and I really hope she likes it...and I really hope it's enough to show up in all of that hair!
Next is to complete the bridesmaid's headpiece which is going to be very difficult as I have not had one conversation with her about it. KT and I have just kind of decided how she'll wear her hair and how we'll 'decorate' it. Apparently as KT was telling her what we planned she smiled and nodded her head repeatedly, which is probably about as much enthusiasm as we're going to get from a 16 year-old.
The Aspargus Fern still has to be cut down to decorate the pillars and Bruce has promised to do this tomorrow. Since he leaves for Anguilla on Thursday I will be royally screwed if he forgets. At the risk of throwing him into a foul temper I will call and remind him tomorrow (Bruce is insulted when reminded to do things despite being someone who constantly and consistently forgets the promises of assistance made after a few glasses of the red). If he doesn't speak to me for a month I don't care as long as we have the fern. Actually, if I'm honest it'd be a bonus!
Add a mountain of laundry that needs to be done, a wedding dinner on Thursday and drinks on Friday...there is very little time left. And yet I am wasting precious minutes moaning about it on the internet!
Arrgh!

Pet Peeve #1

Well not #1 on the list of my All-Time Pet Peeves, but the first I'm posting and certainly what's irritating me most just now:
People who make it a habit of dropping out of a chat...whether it be on text, email or IM... without so much as a TTYL.
Yeah, J, that'd be you.

Ouch

I have a bad sunburn.
It was a gorgeous weekend...for the first time in a long time...two beautiful, warm, sunny days. So yesterday I grabbed my book and headed out onto the terrace to enjoy it. Very quickly I felt quite warm so I popped inside to change into a pair of shorts thinking to get some colour on my legs. It wasn't long before I was too warm again, so back in to change into a tank top. At this point, realizing how lilly white I have become over this long, particularly nasty winter, I slathered some lotion on. I don't know what it was, just that it had an SPF number on the bottle. I usually don't have that sort of lotion, the SPF kind, so it was probably sitting there still from my Mum's last visit. But, not really giving it much thought I headed out, settled down with my book and didn't really move for a couple of hours except to turn the pages.
Well, suntan lotions have a shelf life and I think this one must have been well beyond its. Judging from the scarlet that has replaced the lilly white there was no SPF left in that lotion at all and I may as well have coated myself in Crisco.
Most unfortunate is that the neckline of the dress I am wearing to KT's wedding this coming Saturday is quite a bit lower than my new, very precise tan line. I may have to go digging for the fake tan lotion and even it out a little. And keep my fingers crossed that it's not a horrible peeling, patchy mess by then. Argh!
As Bruce pointed out last night, I do this every year...get a burn at the beginning of the season. Usually because I have been trapped on a boat with no cover for longer than expected. But this is March for crying out loud!
And elsewhere in the world...Danielle emailed asking me to send her a photo of the new man as I told her she had met him the summer before last. He happens to be in the Bermuda Regiment. I wrote back, "Don't have a photo yet, but even if I did it couldn't beat the picture I have in my head of him walking up the steps and through the door in full gear...it was like a movie...soldier coming home from war and sweeping the beautiful waiting girl up in his arms. Sigh. Of course that's without the war and the beautiful and the sweeping up in arms bits."
Hee hee. It's true, there's just nothing sexier than a man in uniform!
I wonder if my sun burn qualifies as bad enough to enlist my country's armed forces to send a particular soldier over to slather something cool and soothing all over it....a life saving mission if you will.
Probably not.
Sigh.
I am loving the long evenings at this time of year although it has seemed strange on the cooler nights. It's nice to have enough light at the end of the work day to get out and tend to my 'garden'. I don't actually have a garden, just tons of plants in pots and containers...oh! I have a container garden!
Anyhoo...I bought a whole bunch of plants to fill up the patchy looking pots, and a new batch of herb seedlings to replenish my herb garden, and I might even finally remember to get the Lavender seeds out of the fridge and into starter pots.
Can't wait til 5 o'clock so I can get outta here and get my hands dirty!
And then slip into an icy bath to appease my poor skin.

Food In the Time of Injury

Back in November I had a severe bout of laryngitis which left my poor throat traumatized and me unable to swallow. Once things settled down there followed a long period of desensitization in which I basically have had to retrain myself to swallow food without my gag reflex kicking in. This meant a soft / liquid diet for quite some time. Including the holiday season and all the wonderful associated foods. I love my food and a baked ham at Christmas has to be my absolute #1 favourite. I felt tortured. I'm still dealing with the emotional repercussions of not having been able to eat vast amounts of pig with a silly paper hat on my head.
Just as I was making progress and enjoying a more normal diet again, fate once more took an unpredictable, somewhat devastating turn.
On my way home from work on Friday, 19th of January, on my scooter in the pouring rain, I had an accident. I rounded a corner on a narrow road and found a car smack dab in the middle of it travelling towards me. I swerved to avoid going straight into it and on the wet road my back wheel went right out from under me. I could feel the bike going down and tried to fight it but, no luck. Most unfortunate was my decision to break my fall with my face. Into the wall.
I was lucky. I had a laceration of my eyebrow, a very scary looking egg on my temple and, as it turned out, a fracture of my orbital floor...the 'cheekbone'. The resulting concussion was horrendous and lasted for a few weeks. Of course there were the usual scrapes, bruises and pulled muscles that come with this sort of accident as well and, all in all, I was laid up for a couple of weeks to recuperate. (Lucky for me, my boss is also my orthopaedic doctor, so he's the one who sent me off work...he can't complain then!)
Anyways, my point was really about the facial fracture. You see it meant I couldn't chew. You see where I'm going right? Yes. Back to a soft / liquid diet. F'n TORTURE I tell you.
It's taken a while to heal up but I'm finally back to near normal...avoid anything with too much of a crunch still, as it sends a shock through my face that practically stands my hair on end...but nearly there.
So I think about food a lot. A lot a lot a lot.
Funny though, early on in this ordeal, I kept saying that if the worst thing that came out of this was that I never eat a big juicy steak again, then that's just not that bad. After all, it's bad for you, right? But. I know that, if you are a meat-eater, you are now thinking about a big juicy steak, done just how you like it. I know you are, 'cause I am too. Every time I tried to console myself that way I'd just end up salivating and fantasizing, fantasizing and salivating.
However, I have felt so different, in my body, lighter, healthier (despite injuries) than I have in along time. And I'm sure it's the lack of beef along with all the other things I had to do to ensure I was getting proper nutrition. I may not go back to beef. We'll see how I make out with that. But I will continue with the V8 and the fruit shots by Vie 'cause they're yummy AND good for you.
During this period, finding myself obsessed with food, the closest I could get to some of my favourites was my recipe book. So I decided to sort it out and discovered some new, some long forgotten recipes that I am dying to try. Sweets, savouries, baked goodies. Can't wait.
And at least now I can eat it all.
If these past events were nature's way of getting me to lose a few pounds? I am about to really mess with that!

And next to my desk today...

Deflated love, originally uploaded by hogfishbeacon.

Looking very sad on its one month birthday.

About time I just threw it away and ate the chocolates it's tied to.

On my desk today 14.3.07

On my desk today 14.3.07, originally uploaded by hogfishbeacon.

I really wish the internet had scratch'n'sniff! How wonderful it is to be able to simply step out the door of my office and pick something so beautiful and gorgeous smelling to sit on my desk. Not too many people can do that!

The Hogfish Beacon

The Hogfish Beacon, originally uploaded by hogfishbeacon.

Yay! Finally found a decent photograph of the Hogfish Beacon on the Bermuda Shorts Design website. Taken by a guy called Glen. Thanks Glen whoever you are!
I just love this marker. Whenever we come down the North Shore (unless I'm with someone I REALLY trust to know what they're doing out there) I'm always nervous...the reef is just so unpredictable. As soon as I see this marker I know we are in safe water and can relax. Plus, hogifsh? Seriously yummy.

Sunday afternoon

KT, Terry and Thomas, originally uploaded by hogfishbeacon.

K, T and little T, exactly two weeks before the wedding.

Weekend Blues

What a strange weekend!
I didn't get to go out on Friday night as everyone was doing something or being lame.
The weather on Saturday was downright sh*tty and about the only productive thing I managed was to clean Sneaky Pete's bowl. Also, I discovered that the fish food was past its best before date of June 2006. This just might explain why he hasn't seemed very hungry recently. Who knew that fish food could go off? And just how are you supposed to tell when it smells so vile in the first place? (Yes, I know, the best before date, duh)
The only high point of Saturday was a brief visit from Jude, who is in from London with Nick, and without the kiddos. It was great to have a catch-up as I missed her Christmas visit but it was a shame not to see the wee ones. It was also pleasantly strange to see Jude so kiddo-sick. As she said, we would never have thought it when we were younger.
Anyhoo... I then wasted Saturday evening waiting for a friend, J, to call as promised and do something. He never called...still hasn't contacted me at all in fact, 1pm Monday. This is the second time he's pulled a stunt like this, so that's it. Zero tolerance. NEXT!
Sunday was better in the weather department, which is always a boost for the spirits, and I spent a pleasant few hours in the sunshine with K & T, and T's son Tjr, going around the golf course looking for foliage to use when we decorate for their wedding in two weeks. Then T took Tjr off for a snack and K and I had a cuppa and designed her head piece and hair style and discussed the flowers.
By the time they left it was time to start the Sunday evening routine of dinner and getting things ready for the week ahead...and all of a sudden you realize the weekend is over.
Just like that.

Addendum: To top off such a poor weekend, when I walked into work this morning Gail said she had seen my brother on Saturday night at the Teachers RFC Fight Night. HOW did I miss that? I am out of the loop! That's what happens when I don't go out on Friday. I don't hear about anything and miss out on all the fun! And then I sit around waiting for some jerk who never calls.
Note to self: Do not miss Friday Happy Hour again.

Ha!...just noticed, in the editing box, the suggested 'Labels for this post', scooters, vacation, fall. Perfect tags for Bermuda.
Actually...wait...not so funny considering my recent scooter calamity. Hm.

Reading

I got this list from a blog called Jen and Tonic, she got it from another blog.
Looked interesting so I thought I'd give it a try. I do wonder how they came up with this particular list of books, was it random or is this what someone's bookshelf looks like?
I discovered that I have read a lot of classics (Dickens, Austen etc.) that I could not read now if you paid me...well, maybe if you paid me...

"Instructions: In the list of books below, bold the ones you’ve read, italicize the ones you want to read, cross out the ones you won’t touch with a ten-foot pole, put a cross (+) in front of the ones on your book shelf, and asterisk (*) the ones you’ve never heard of. "
Since I can't figure out how to cross out I have shoved the ones I know I don't want to read over to the right, and the ones I am unsure about I have left alone.

1. +The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown) Didn't enjoy as much as I'd hoped
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen) Boring
3. +To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee) All time fave - have read SO many times
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell) Preferred the movie
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery) Long time ago
9. +Outlander (Diana Gabaldon) Read the whole series - fave
10. *A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. +Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling) Have enjoyed all of them so far
12. +Angels and Demons (Dan Brown) Recommended by an ex-boyfriend, maybe won't bother!
13. +Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. +A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving) Fave
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden) Really want to read
16. +Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. *Fall on Your Knees(Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King) Yuck. Nightmares
19. +Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) Long time ago
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien) Long time ago, will re-read one day
22. +The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger) Enjoyed
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott) Long time ago
24. *The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. + Life of Pi (Yann Martel) This is in my pile to read next
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams) Blagh
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte) Boring
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis) Childhood fave
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. +Tuesdays with Morrie(Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. +The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. *Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. +The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley) Really enjoyed
36. *The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. +The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay) Also read the sequel, Tandia
38. +I Know This Much is True(Wally Lamb) Fave fave fave, I love this man's books
39. *The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. +The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel) Read the whole series. HATED the movie
42. *The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. *Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella) Sounds like something I should read!
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. +Bible
46. +Anna Karenina (Tolstoy) Long read but a fave
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. +Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. +She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb) Fave
51. *The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens) Read in school, don't like Dickens
53. *Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens) Read in school
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. *The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. +Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. *The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky) Slow going read
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. +War and Peace (Tolstoy) Took forever but I did it
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice) Blagh
65. *Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. +One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez) Fave
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller) Read a long time ago
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. +Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding) Enjoyed the book more than the movie!
72. +Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell) Think I may have read, my parents had it
74. +The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje) Loved the movie too
75. +The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett) Lovely book
76. *The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. +The World According To Garp (John Irving) Fave
79. *The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White) Read a long time ago
81. *Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck) A long time ago
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier) A long time ago
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen) Read a long time ago - couldn't read it now
86. +Watership Down(Richard Adams) Fave
87. *Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. *The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. *Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. *In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. *The Good Earth(Pearl S. Buck)
94. *The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton) Fave
97. +White Oleander (Janet Fitch) Great book
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield) Didn't enjoy as much as I'd hoped
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

March Monday

Wow, is it ever a gorgeous day! Beautiful sunny warm weather...just enough of a breeze to keep it from being a hot day...which is never pleasant when you have jeans and a sweater on (albeit a cotton sweater). Of course, I could call my Dad in Scotland and he'd still have to try to beat me on the weather front. Keeping in mind I'm in Bermuda.

Typical conversations with my Dad - Topic: Weather

Me: It was quite a nice day here today. (70F Sunny Bermuda)
Dad: Oh, we had a lovely day today. I barely needed a jacket when I went up to the shops. (50F Cloudy Windy Edinburgh)

or...

Me: It was quite chilly here today. (65F Rainy Windy Bermuda)
Dad: Oh, I think we might have been warmer than you today (45F Rainy Windy Edinburgh)

He's a real 'glass half full' kind of guy. I know because the accurate weather conditions are supplied by my Mum, who, while I wouldn't describe her as being a 'glass half empty'-type, is just...well...accurate.

I am lucky that I get to talk to my parents so much more these days, what with my great long distance calling plan and all. So - things I love about conversations with my folks:
It's great to be able to pick up the phone and call on a whim and I love that they still sound so surprised to hear it's me...as if they have a ton of people that regularly ring them after 11pm (7pm Bermuda time). Hey! It's Steph! Lovely!!
I love the way whoever answers and has the first half of the conversation always bugs the other about how long they are keeping me on the phone and running up my bill. Despite how long they themselves were on for. Despite the fact that I have explained my calling plan 1000+ times now.
I love the way whoever answers first will shout through to the other "Alex/Tassie it's Steph on the phone. Did you want to come and talk to her?" Like there's a "No" option?
I love how my Mum will fill me in on the day to day goings-on of the people that populate her life even though I don't know who they are (unless she's talking about family of course...I know most of them. Not kidding...there's so many that there are cousins I don't know).
And I love how my Dad still wants to hear about what is going on in my friends' lives even though he hasn't seen them for years and gets their names all mixed up.
I love the sort of old-school way they have of saying goodbye at the end of the conversation. It has a very formal feel about it...ritualistic in a way. Certain things must be said by each party and hanging up cannot occur until this is accomplished.
Mum's 'Must Be Said Before Hanging Up' phrases are: Lovely to hear your voice; Speak to you soon; We'll call you next time; OK my lovey; and Love you. And then...'Oh, I just remembered what I wanted to tell you...."
Dad's are: OK my sweetheart; God bless; We think of you every day: Love you loads you know; and Tatty-scone.
I follow their lead and reply to each phrase appropriately but I have not yet ritualized my responses...I wing it.
But man do I cherish theirs.

Wednesday

I quite like Wednesday. We have a quiet morning in the office with one doctor over at the hospital and the other not seeing patients until the afternoon. It gives us a bit of room to breathe, which we need after Tuesday.
Tuesday is crazy busy and often involves a lot of running over to the hospital to pick up x-rays or MRIs. On Tuesday I get none of my own work done at all because so much time is spent helping the receptionist run the office or dealing with patients.
It stands to reason that Monday would be quiet for us as both doctors are in the OR. Monday is when we can prepare for the week, pull charts, do some filing. But, see, Monday is the day after the Weekend. The Weekend - when every. single. patient. runs out of medication and/or decides they cannot take their pain any longer and MUST speak with the doctor. Now. No matter how, or how often they are told, they cannot seem to comprehend that these men are surgeons and spend half of their time in the hospital. They wonder why they are not here in the office all day every day. Their GP is, why aren't they? So, they called an hour ago and the doctor still hasn't called back! The pharmacy still hasn't received the prescription! Why not?!
Monday is spent trying to explain to patients why we cannot pull the doctor out of the OR so that they can get their DF118, right now. And it's exhausting because you know they are in pain, and when people are in pain they're not always at their most polite, if you know what I mean, but we have to be professional, courteous...and patient (ha ha!) with them.
I spend most of Monday asking myself why our patients never seem to realize that they need more of this medication, that is so important to them, before they get down to their last one.
Thursday and Friday are a blur. Early starts for early clinics. Seriously ready to go home by 10:30am. The only redeemer about Friday is that it is at least the end of the week.
On Wednesday I already have Monday and Tuesday behind me and I can look forward to the Weekend without being stuck in the middle of Thursday or Friday.
Yes, I quite like Wednesday.
PS. It's not really 5:34am as the post time is telling me. It's 10.08am here in Bermuda. Must figure how to change that...what is it anyway? Hawaii time??

Break time and I'm still a blank. So. The weather. Here in Bermuda it's somewhat overcast, breezy and cool (about 65F) but thankfully the foul weather of the past few days is just that, past. It was howling, gale force winds, rain and very cold (for us...about 55 -58F-ish). We're just not prepared for that kind of cold and I spent the weekend huddled under blankets watching movies with a small space heater going full blast. Pathetic. I didn't want to venture out on my bike after having been literally blown over on my way home on Friday. Just minding my own business, waiting for the rush-hour traffic to start moving, when a gust blew me right over, in the middle of the road...Embarrassing. Considering my recent bad accident (that's a whole other story...hey, wait, I did have something I could've written about) it shook me up a little driving in that wind so I decided I wasn't going anywhere I couldn't walk to until it died down. That finally happened this morning. Which is too bad as it would have been an interesting excuse not to come in to work!
Speaking of which, I'd better get on......

Oh and by the way...I am writing this at 3:41pm despite the 11.22am it says on this page. Thank f*ck. If it was still morning I'd seriously be crying right now.

In the beginning

After the drama I just went through to start this up I find that a) I have nothing at all to talk about just now (surprise) and b) I have run out of lunch hour and have to get back to work! Maybe I will have suddenly become interesting by break time. If not I'll just talk about the weather...that's worked on some dates.