This morning

Lying, drifting,
So close to sleep,
Yet unable to surrender.
Smiling, my head on your shoulder,
You sleep so soundly.
The beat of your heart
Lulling me and yet
Anchoring me in wakefulness.
The rise and fall of your chest
Rocks me gently and
Your breath in my hair
Sighs a lullaby.
I look up and kiss your chin lightly and
Your arm around my shoulder
Squeezes gently, unconscious assurance
That all is well, that I am safe,
Silently requesting that I stay.
I know I will not find sleep like this
But my fingers move across your chest
Feathering a silent but conscious assurance,
“I’m not going anywhere.”
We sigh in unison.
I smile and begin to drift again.

When my mind finally half-rouses and
I open my eyes to blink in the shade-filtered dawn
I am still floating in my dream-memory.
I swear I can feel your heartbeat, your breath, your touch,
Smell the warmth of your sleeping skin.
So I close my eyes to deny the start of the day
And linger with you a while longer.

43. Seriously?

Wednesday marked my 43rd birthday. Damn. What on earth happened? Where did all that time go??? In the picture above I am 4 or 5 and my brother and I have invaded my parent's bed on Christmas morning to open our stockings (which, for as long as I can remember, always had a tangerine in the toe!)
The picture below was taken at a friend's wedding last summer. Nearly 40 years later and I still have the same smile! Although thankfully I have finally perfected the art of keeping my mouth closed when smiling. At 4/5 it is only open a little bit...but my word, through my teens, 20's and 30's I smiled with my mouth wide open as if I was at the dentist saying 'Aaaaaaahhhhh...' whilst he told a really funny joke. Seriously, you would think by looking at those photos that every single moment was just pure 'YAAAYYYYYY!'
Maybe it was.
This year, with my birthday falling mid-week...and let's face it, what's to celebrate about 43?....I agreed to babysit Lucas for Jill.
He was my hot birthday date. We had a blast, wined and dined (read: pizza and apple juice), had some great conversation (about how Eli had hit him at pre-school and didn't that make Eli a bad boy who would be in BIG trouble with his mummy and daddy?), we read poetry (well, Dr. Seuss 'Oh the Places You'll Go'), and after a good night kiss........
......he crashed. Typical date really.
Eventually I took myself off home (i.e. once mummy came home) where I put on the Roxy slipper booties that Cindy gave me for my birthday. Even though it's like 75F right now. But there's something magical about them, you feel girlie, and cuddly and they are so soft you want to pet them. And with shorts they're pretty sexy!!

What a lucky girl I am!

I spent yesterday grinning from ear to ear. Despite doing boring, mucky house chores all day I was the proverbial Cheshire cat.
Why?
Because of this man....
Hot hot hot!! And handsome, and funny, and smart, and sexy, and sweet! The most wonderful man in the world. And I am lucky, lucky, lucky!
I told him that for some reason this is one of my favourite photographs of him in uniform, I don't really know why...he says he looks like a "rat-bag"....No way!
Yesterday morning we got to have a lovely long talk on the phone and frankly, you might as well just go ahead and sprinkle me with fairy dust!
Sure we have email, and that daily contact is lovely, but there is nothing like an actual conversation, the interaction, the sound of his voice, his laugh.
To think that I just might be able to see him in two weeks....only TWO WEEKS!....even if it's just for a few days....even if it means flying to Atlanta....even if he'll be busy with army stuff during the day...still, to be with him again....just the thought makes me dizzy and giddy and swoony with joy.Because, if not Atlanta.....then there's nothing for sure until April 2010....and I don't think I could stand that.
I can hear you saying 'Lucky? Doesn't seem so lucky to me!'
Well, that's just how wonderfully special this man is. A telephone call from him lights up my whole world and sets the butterflies a-flutter. Every. Single. Time.
And I'm lucky simply to ever have met him.