Tuesday 29 December 2009

Let the world stop turning
Let the sun stop burning
Let them tell me love's not worth going through
If it all falls apart
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered had come true
In this life I was loved by you
- Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

Sunday 20 December 2009

Happy holidays!!!

Wishing the blogging world a fantastic holiday season and a happy, healthy, peaceful and prosperous 2010!!!

Saturday 7 November 2009

I've been so busy recently that I've hardly had time to check emails let alone surf my favourite websites.
But last night something pretty wonderful happened which I wanted to share because I'm just so proud I could burst!!
My brother has not had a haircut in 20 years. He has had dreadlocks that went all the way down to his bum! From time to time over the years he has talked about cutting them off but he finally made the decision a couple of months ago to do it and raise some money for charity. We set the night for 6th November and arranged to do it in one of the local pubs, then we set about spreading the word.
He chose two charities to split the proceeds between. One is an organisation that provides at-home palliative care for dying cancer patients and support for their families, and the other is the local school for children with disabilities and special needs, which is severely under-funded by Government.
Over the intervening months we have slowly been raising money. We didn't really know what to expect. Friends and family were very keen but it has been hard economic times for everyone. We were pleased when we reached $400 and thrilled when we reached $4,000.
Last night about 200 people gathered in the pub and I was stunned to learn that the total funds raised was at $18,000!!!
We had a blast....auctioning each dreadlock to be cut off and different parts of his beard to be shaved...lots of jokes and funny stories! AND.....by the end of the night we had raised over $40,000!!!! AND we still have some donations to come in as a lot of my brother's freind's employers pledged to match employees contributions!
It was a hard thing for my brother to do. He is known by everyone as Dready so he has felt a little as though he was going to lose his identity a bit. And he was very nervous as we began last night! But I am proud beyond measure, of him, and of such supportive friends, and such a generous community here. We began this thinking that if he could just raise a couple thousand dollars it would be something, it would be a couple of thousand more than the charities had before. What happened though is that he will be able to give each of these charities a considerable amount of money by anyone's standards! Money that they can DO something with to REALLY make a difference.
I am SOOOOO proud of my brother! <3
Here's a link to the video......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeqD1pdVIj0&feature=player_embedded
Since he is refusing the new nickname 'Dimples' he will still be known as Dready!

Friday 2 October 2009

Alba Gu Brath!!!!!

Some good news out of Afghanistan for a wee change.
I grew up listening to The Band of the Black Watch Brigade as my Father would play his records (uh, yes, vinyl LPs!) every Sunday morning after church and the house would fill with the thrilling sound of bagpipes and drums and battle marches while we cooked brunch.
So proud that my countrymen are more than pulling their weight over there and I hope they ALL get home safe and sound ....
Helmand Blog - Afghanistan: Scots soldiers smash Taliban bomb-makers' stronghold

Friday 25 September 2009

Where did the summer go????

Wow. It's nearly October. Things will start to cool off soon and then it's a rapid decline all the way to the New Year. End of summer parties will make October fly til Halloween, then it's my birthday, the World Rugby Classic, Thanksgiving and before you know it the succession of Christmas parties, and Christmas itself, has you sitting there on the 30th wondering what to wear tomorrow night and thinking, "Hmm, didn't we JUST celebrate New Year??"
So what have I been doing all summer?

Well, mostly this....

But I also did this.....

in order to see stunning scenery like this......

Ah, New Zealand! I will be back one day....and maybe I'll never leave next time....

Excellent random thoughts....

To mark my return after a lengthy absence, here is a list of random thoughts on life that was in my inbox this morning and really made me chuckle!....especially since it made me realise that I'm really NOT the only one!!

- Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning that just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

- I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

- Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realise I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.

- Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going?
But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.

- There is a great need for sarcasm font.

- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories.

- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem ..

- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

- There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this.
It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room.
Will we still be friends after this?'

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

- As a driver I hate pedestrians and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Friday 29 May 2009

And so another summer begins...
















And I of course overdid it. And this was despite plenty of sunscreen!



Tuesday 21 April 2009

Peace of mind

Over time you realise that there are some very simple things that can give you comfort...peace of mind. They are not extravagant or elaborate things...not necessarily intentionally given or sought.
Yet, when they reveal themselves, you suddenly realise you have been, in essence, holding your breath and maybe didn't even realise that.
There are, of course, many things that give us peace of mind that we are conscious of... the things we seek in times of stress, distress, sadness, unhappiness, anger, or just flux. That phone call to a certain friend, or a parent....excercise....meditation...introspection....time spent with friends....a day on the beach....a DRINK!
But sometimes things just happen out of the blue....still quite ordinary...a phone call, an email, unplanned time spent with friends. And something about it simply makes everything right in the world for you. And you realise that you can suddenly breathe again.
Today I can thank one of my brothers, the NZ6 and JSC for deep breaths at bedtime!

Wednesday 15 April 2009

Shiny new stuff everywhere.....

I've started two new blogs...
The Hogfishbeacon Photos and The Hogfishbeacon Quotes and Poetry.
Really original headliners there, I know...not...but I wanted to keep it simple and self-explanatory, and I think some people think 'Hogfishbeacon' is enough originality for one blogger!
And it really is self-explanatory. The first is for my more artistic endeavours in photography and playing around with images, and the second to begin to record some of my favourite quotes, sayings, poems, or just snatches of poetry...some will even be my own!
Hopefully they will bring enjoyment to other people, not just me.
I don't know how to post links here but if you click on the 'About Me'...uh, you know, mine, not yours...you will see the links there.
This should be enough to do to keep me out of trouble!

Saturday 14 March 2009

When You Love Someone


Scott in my hat!, originally uploaded by hogfishbeacon.

When you love someone - you'll do anything
You'll do all the crazy things that you can't explain
You'll shoot the moon - put out the sun
When you love someone

You'll deny the truth - believe a lie
There'll be times that you'll believe you can really fly
But your lonely nights - have just begun
When you love someone

When you love someone - you'll feel it deep inside
And nothing else can ever change your mind
When you want someone - when you need someone
When you love someone...

When you love someone - you'll sacrifice
You'd give it everything you got and you won't think twice
You'd risk it all - no matter what may come
When you love someone

Courtesy of Bryan Adams.

Sunday 8 March 2009

Fort Bragg

It has now been just over a week since I returned from a visit to Fort Bragg, North Carolina, to see Scott, and anyone who has been reading this blog will guess who that is.
SO much has happened in the last week and I really I wish I had finished this post as soon as I got back…or even whilst I was there. I am going to attempt to continue it as if that was the case, to have the feelings and the events of the visit recorded without them being coloured by the horrible things that have happened in this past week.
When, or if, I feel stronger I will fill the interweb in on the horrible stuff….or should I save it for a book???

The run up to my trip was full of stops and starts and a logistics nightmare! I was a basket case by the time I got on the plane, facing a dodgy connection in Atlanta, and to top it all off both Scott and I had been sick the previous week, phone calls full of sniffs and coughs, shivers and talk of Zycam. But standing at the baggage carousel in Fayetteville and turning to find him striding towards me, massive grin on his face, eyes glowing, huge bunch of flowers in his hand, followed by that lift-you-off-your-feet-swing-you-around hug…it was suddenly all behind me and I felt as I had the very first time. I was finally home! And I had a whole week to spend with him…YIPEE!
Even finding out, in the first 5 minutes, that he had been called to Camp Atterbury in Indiana for the following day due to a scheduling mistake couldn’t dampen our spirits…even realizing that I would be STUCK because I couldn’t drive the car around the next day…I mean seriously, can’t you guys drive on the proper side of the road, or have all the stuff on the correct side of the car at least?????















We stopped in an Irish sports bar (which I found really familiar with all the rugby pictures around) for dinner and drinks and spent a couple of hours catching up, finally face to face, playing footsie and grabbing at each other’s hands across the table like a couple of teenagers! We then went to find a motel since there was no point in going to Bragg considering his 5AM flight the next morning. At the Holiday Inn Motel little were we to know how much we should have appreciated the massive bed and luxurious bathroom…why, you ask?…you’ll see!
(Photo is actually from Olive Garden later in the week but can you spell 'artistic license'?)

After practically NO sleep he sleep-walked me out to the car at 3:45AM and with the help of some OJ from an en route gas station I finally woke up enough to realize that we had not made time for me to practice the USAnian stooooopid way of driving. So it was decided to leave the car at the airport, I would cab it back in order to sleep until check out time and wing it til it was time to meet him again at the airport.
Where did I end up?

YUP! Hooters. It was the only place the friendly hotel bellman could find that I could just hang with internet service, food, drinks later and, bonus: smoking! The waitresses took one look at my Bermuda driving license and I showed them the photos on the laptop and suddenly I had 3 new best friends! Made it nicer for me as the place filled with a rotating door of bunch after bunch of rowdy soldiers in for lunch from Bragg…probably wondering who the old chic was that the waitresses kept going back to chat to…I must have looked like some sort of Madame with her clutch of orange-mini-shorted ‘girls’!

Another bonus was getting another lovely airport greeting…his grin even bigger and more relaxed with the Indiana headache out of the way. We grabbed some beers and snacks and finally headed on to Fort Bragg.
Arriving in our room we took one look and there was total silence. Two single beds. Finally Scott said “Well, we’ll just have to try them both and see which one is more comfortable.” We didn’t, we just picked the one nearest the bathroom and with the best view of the TV!…added the pillows from the other bed and threw off the nasty polyester bedspread to replace it with Scott’s “woobie”….Army tech-speak for blankie! It was bloody cold in North Carolina and I kinda fell in love with the woobie, especially as the heating didn’t work AT ALL, not even in the bathroom!!!

For the rest of the week Scott was busy all day with classes, briefings, and meetings so I occupied myself by visiting the on-base museums and joining the front-of-building-smoking-club and made a few more friends! We hadn’t realized that I wouldn’t be able to buy anything on-base at all without his military ID, so there was a bit of stress, I mean, a girl’s gotta eat for crying out loud! And shop!!! Luckily the museum gift shops were happy enough to take my money and Scott was happy enough to take me off-base each evening to wander around book stores together, or try on silly Easter hats in Target, kick my ass at bowling, grab some food or drinks, whatever…we were happy even when we were completely lost a few times!



















We found ourselves back in our room by about 10PM each evening so we could just chill, cuddled up in our little twin bed (did I mention it was FREEZING there?), talking and laughing and watching inane TV, sharing a couple of beers or a bottle of wine, and finally dozing off only to wake a few hours later to…erm….talk some more. Every morning saw us up at 5 for, well, more talking of course, and then Scott might go for a run…who am I kidding, that happened only on the first morning! It was WAY too nice to spend the early hours curled up together. Yes, of course talking!













On Friday I was leaving in the late afternoon but Scott didn’t think he could get away from his last class early enough to see me off. Being thoroughly true to myself, and terribly unsure of how to deal with my feelings, I picked a fight with him! Can you imagine??? Never fear, he realized my frustration and held me, letting me cry it out and then…well, then we made up, naturally!
I went downstairs to see him off for his day as it looked like this was going to be goodbye. Oh dear….TEARS!!! And what did he want? A photograph of course! I protested as he searched for my camera in my pocket but he said “Don’t worry, keep your sunglasses on. You’ll look like Jackie O and I already know how beautiful your eyes are anyway.” Aw.

















I then spent the day roaming the area around the Lodgings, chatting with my new buddies, packing my junk, and messaging back and forth with Scott about how things were looking for him to get back in time. Finally I gave up and showered and just as I was drying my hair I heard fumbling at the door…and there he was! With a whole hour and a half to spend together. Blessings come in these small things.
We spent it curled up on the bed again, chatting and laughing and cuddling and as we had throughout the trip, talked about when he might be able to come to visit me in Bermuda…our mantra being “If not before, 2010 babe, July 2010!”

When he finally put me in the cab, he begged me just to smile and I managed it til the we had pulled away. Lucky the driver has been through this before many times! Through the drive, the flight, the overnight in Atlanta, and finally the flight to Bermuda I clutched one of the things he had given me through the week, a little child’s bouncy ball with a tank in the background and a miniature action figure of a soldier with a rifle….supposed to represent him. I don’t think it has been off my person since.













Two days after I left Ft. Bragg Scott left for Afghanistan.

Saturday 31 January 2009

I miss my family

Drifting in the provoking silences of the nights,
I think magical, haunting thoughts,
remember and dream and drink.
The silence is beautiful, maddening,
needed and loud.
And the lost sound of others' sleep
is loudest and most intruding.
Mother and Father in the marital bed.
The child in the cot, the brother beside me.
The pictures remain but they don't make a sound.
The music can blare, the frogs might sing.
Even wind and nearby sea have a voice,
and the traffic on the street.
But the perfect sound of others' sleep escapes me.